this is extremely frustrating! i went bugis with the intention to buy presents for my sisters, daphne and genghui's birthday but i came back empty handed!! ): oh, plus i wanted to get a kimono style kinda dress for myself too since its been some time i bought new clothes. but darn! cant find anything suitable. though the macha shake gelato at MOF bugis made me extremely happyyyyy. (: it just gave me the happy, floaty feeling. wee!

wake up on the right side of the bed everyday k! never huh. humph.

i agree with what aishah posted. 1. to love you lesser till there is no more. 2. to love you more to the extent that i can accept all the bads. i havent deceided which though. cos i hate making decisions. i'd rather avoid.

stuttering - fefe dobson

There’s a whole lotta things that I will forgive
But I just can’t take a liar
I was by your side till the very end
Till you pushed me in the fire

I tried to believe you but something is wrong
You won’t look in my eyes tell me what’s going on

Is you and me against the world?
That’s what you said, that’s what you said
If you can’t be honest with me
Then I’m afraid this is the end

Hurry up, hurry up
If you ever really cared about me
Tell the truth, give it up
You’re still guilty cuz you’re stuttering

Oh oh oh oh oh ey ey ey ey ey oh oh oh oh whoa
Yeah you’re stuttering
Oh oh oh oh oh ey ey ey ey ey oh oh oh oh whoa
Yeah you’re stuttering

Now the seconds turn into minutes now
But you won’t give me an answer

You can tell me this, you can tell me that
But don’t say you don’t remember

Cuz I know you better than you know yourself
So don’t say I’m crazy, I know very well

Is you and me against the world?
That’s what you said, that’s what you said
If you can’t be honest with me
Then I’m afraid this is the end

Hurry up, hurry up
If you ever really cared about me
Tell the truth, give it up
You’re still guilty cuz you’re stuttering

Oh oh oh oh oh ey ey ey ey ey oh oh oh oh whoa
Yeah you’re stuttering
Oh oh oh oh oh ey ey ey ey ey oh oh oh oh whoa
Yeah you’re stuttering

I I I don’t don’t wanna hear your so-o-rry now
The-uh-uh best thing you can do for me is just spit it out
I I I don’t don’t wanna hear your so-o-rry now
Stop stop stuttering your words
It’s only making you look worse

Hurry up, hurry up
If you ever really cared about me
Tell the truth, give it up
You’re still guilty cuz you’re stuttering

Oh oh oh oh oh ey ey ey ey ey oh oh oh oh whoa
Yeah you’re stuttering
Oh oh oh oh oh ey ey ey ey ey oh oh oh oh whoa
Yeah you’re stuttering

Keep on stuttering (yeah you’re stuttering)
Keep on stuttering (yeah you’re stuttering)

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me; a mutual addiction.
“— Chuck Palahniuk

so yesterday was a disaster. but im thankful for my friends. hees. i got a tad bit drunk, tad bit over board and i cant believe i actually cried. like seriously! must be the alcohol's fault, it was an embarrassment, as usual when i get high. darn it! guess some things i just never learn. i was just lecturing myself for taking things too hard on my kids, they should have more fun during childhood. i didnt realise that ive been too hard on myself too. i gotta learn to let go, or rather, heck care more often. taking things too seriously isnt good for health. i'll get old faster. zzz.

Lower your expectations. That’s how you’re gonna be happy.
Derek Thompson, The Tooth Fairy
i like derek thompson as an actor. he's funny! :D

yes, my moods depend on you but my life doesnt revolve around you lorr. tskkkk. AUSSIELAND HERE I COMEEEEE. so many wrongs pointing to that end. is that an end or a beginning? a change? whatever. i think too much. should learn to heed my own advice, but then again, who ever does? FUCK LIFEEEEEEE. just get it over and done with. too tedious to live through again. Zzz.

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.
Ayn Rand (via reluctantbuddha)

sounds EXACTLY like YOU. but than again. arghhs! screw giving up stuffs. its too tough for me too. no wonder you wont. just have to find someone that can tolerate it, too bad i cant. lalalaaaaaaaaaaaas.

We’re not perfect. Any of us. We make mistakes, we screw up, but then we forgive and we move forward.
“— The Last Song (via vanessasheart)

i wanna blog about happy things too. i really should stop looking at the negatives and count my blessings. (: had a not too bad chat with nigel just now, after a long long time. silly nigel. he really talks about the most random things. arisa is coming backkk, bowling dateeeeee. shing is going to be done with her work and then we can plan our (maldives?) trip next june. yan is coming backkk tooo. had a really good chat with her all the way from aussieland. aww, im so touched. maybe next time, i can call? hopefully. drums drums drums, am enjoying the lessons but stressssss! cant get the grooves right. ): but its fun. and family? as long as they are healthy and happy, im happy too. i do wanna be happy, can i? or probably, im just not content with what i have. shucks.


Consensus
things are only the way they are because they are that way to you.

That’s why people from the outside see it differently than you do.

We like to say, hey, look it from the reality of things.

But how true is reality when it is merely based on the majority opinion.

Borrowing from what i learnt in philo class, and what philosophers say alot,

how can consensus equal truth, when consensus basically just means what it does.

A Consensus.

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“Send him some love and light every time you thing about him, then drop it.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love


I always catch myself thinking about the past, when we didn’t argue and we were both okay. When things went smooth and it was never complicated between us.
(via 365thoughts, 365thoughts)

"i think people expect too much from marriage today. they expect perfection. every moment should be bliss. that's like tv or movies. but that is not the human experience. like sarah says, twenty minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. the trick is when things aren't so great, you don't junk the whole thing. it's okay to have an argument. it's okay that the other one annoys you a little, bothers you a little. it's part of being close to someone. but the joy you get from that same closeness - when you watch your children, when you wake up and smile at each other - that, as our tradition teaches us, is a blessing. people forget that."

why do they forget?

"because the word 'commitment' has lost it's meaning. now a commitment is something you avoid. you don't want to tie yourself down."

and if you don't commit?

"your choice. but you miss what's on the other side."

what's on the other side?

"ah. a happiness you cannot find alone."
a conversation between reb and mitch albom (have a little faith)


i walked a mile with pleasure.
she chatted all the way.
but left me none the wiser.
for all she had to say

i walked a mile with sorrow.
and ne'er a word said she.
but oh! the things i learned from her.
when sorrow walked with me

robert browning hamilton

hey, i know this feeling that im having. its called numbness. i seem to have had it before. dont feel positive nor negative, just seems like im falling into an abyss of 'why' without wanting to know that answers even. but i'll get over it. by filling my days with the books i never get to read, the music practices i never have the time to do, watching the shows i never got to watch and also work! how can i forget about work? gotta make myself busier than all my busy busy friends. so that i wont be tempted to ask them out or bother my friends that are miles awayyyy. am counting down to 19th and 22nd november! i'll be fine. i always be. its just us that never seem to go there. anyways, i think that mitch albom should stick to non-fiction. his latest fictino book isnt all too good. especially since its a christian one. no offense to christians but i prefer not to read about the almighty during my free time. and to think coincidently, our favourite book of his is 'for one more day'. oh, the irony of the title. oh yes, today is emo mv day.











"that life can change in the blink of an eye. all you have is right now. so don't ever put off telling someone how you feel about them, don't assume that they know, because they might not and it might be too late."
-you're the one that i don't want

We accept the love we think we deserve
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (via creepintomysoul)

they are gorgeous~ (:


keira knightley


emma watson

i dont understand why do people wanna throw their life away. like you said, theres only one life, so why waste it on things that harm you, that cut short that already too short life? whos to say that you wont get hook after trying? i dont know if youre being like this to spite me or what. but hell, if thats the way you want it, fine. like i said, just dont include me in it. if thats what you intend to do, throwing your life away, i'd say, good luck. hope you have enough life to try all the outrageous shit you wanna try. im not saying live life the boring way, staying indoors all the time. yes, have fun. but good healthy fun that doesnt ruin your health. that all. but hey, its your life, not mine.

missing someone shouldnt happen only when you feel lonely. in fact, it should be because youre missing someone, therefore you feel alone.

it just goes to show how much you actually mean to someone when all they can offer is sorry.

I ALMOST FREAKING DIEDDDDDDDD! IT WAS DAMN BLOODY PAINFUL AND THE STUPID DOC DIDNT ALLOW ME TO SCREAM. FUCK. if its painful, the first thing you do is to scream isnt it? moreover, i have phobia. the nurses were very nice though (: im talking about my wisdom tooth extraction. you wont see/hear of me going for the other side. !!! arghhsssssss!

scars remind us of where we have been, they dont have to dictate where we are going.
-criminal minds

You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything… affects everything.
Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

“The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you and that you’re standing in the doorway”
— “Going To Georgia” by The Mountain Goats
ooh yums

i just cant live a lie. i know i could say we're through and tell myself im over you. but even if i made a vow and promise not to miss you now. i try to hide the truth inside but id fail cause i just cant live a lie
-carrie underwood

but i can say for sure, it has changed between us.

first drums lesson today! i have a nice young teacher. hees! though it was kinda stressful, both mentally and physically. mentally cos i had to concentrate really really hard not to miss beats, but i still do. darn! physically cos my thighs and ankles hurt after pressing on the pedals. but all in all, a good start. :D next week, hello music clef with swollen mouth. ): imagine this, saturday - theory lesson, swollen. sunday - practical lesson, swollen. monday - drums, swollen. Zzz.

my calls go unanswered, my questions left unsaid.

someone once told me, "you sure plan your schedules well. it's a sahme that youre not in events." ok, so i plan well, but things rarely go as planned, they do? and honestly, its kinda a joke to say i plan well when my plans never succeed.

how does he do it? he can always turn the whole situation around and make me sound like im the one at fault. maybe i need to pack up, and leave for somewhere else. to start afresh and just be happy for awhile. just a fantasy of some sort.

when she said, "how can you ask if i love you? look at all ive done with you. what else would you call it?" that kind of love - the kind you realise you already have by the life that youve created together - thats the kind that lasts.

honestly, i dont feel like blogging even, but if i dont, im afraid i might explode. cos i cant talk to yan or arisa. i cant talk to shing or tobs. thats how little friends i have. im really upset. to why i am, i cant even explain. its just frustrating, you know? when you have a feeling but you cant tag the reason to it. i dont like being second or third or fourth place or whatsoever. i dont like this feeling. you can say im not but your actions show otherwise. or just maybe, you cant phrase your sentences properly, which is also why i prefer calling than smsing. cos you cant hear the tone, nor see the body language. i just dont like the way you put it. and when i cant understand, i get frustrated. even more when you dont explain. im so irritable now, so much so that i dont even have the mood to meet you, or shing or tobs. i just dont feel like. dont even want you to touch me. its that bad, and if you cant be bothered with me, then so be it. im too tired to care. ive better things to fret about.

my favourite movie of all time. (:



I must learn to love the fool in me; the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.
— Theodore Isaac Rubin

i guess i must too.

family is the only constant you can count on.

fuck, my jaw is loose. it feels like its opened wide but its not. so that terriblely tired, achey feeling cant go away. i feel like my jaw is going to drop out. ):

bloody dickhead. Zzz


ive to say, i like the song, just not the singer. hees.

Its sad, when your life’s purpose and existence revolved around one person that seemed to matter the whole world to you.

And when you think about it, you realize, how can anyone love someone who has no soul, nothing whatsoever, to be loved for?

That’s why it’s sad when you lose this person whom you set your purpose to. Cause you lose them, but more importantly you lose yourself.
tabstumblr

i dont fancy this feeling. this feeling of uneasiness. the kind where you dont feel like doing anything or nothing at all. the feeling of not knowing what or how to do whatever is needed. feels like my brain is battling with my heart, contridicting myself in ways that is terrifying. hoepfully, im not going to get split personalities. its like its fault either way i lean towards. i need to have outings, outings that allow me to concentrate on working my body and give my mind a rest. i also need to go out with different people, instead of just depending on you. cos you obviously dont depend much on me. it should be inter-dependence, not over-dependence. i still dont like this feeling, this feeling of uneasiness, and its still stuck with me. ):

fuck yes.

i realised ive been neglecting here, only updating with pictures and words taht arent mine. ok, so heres something to blog about, but it happened about a week ago.my colleagues and i were waiting for another colleague at woodlands mrt, when we saw a blind man. so since we had time, i went up to him to ask where he was headed. bus interchange, he said. but the thing is it was in the opposite direction that he was walking to. instead of turning around, which was the shorter way, i brought him around the whole mrt station. grr! was unfamiliar with woodlands and they had really bad sign directions!

im bruised, both in and out.

念掛像風箏　不見面　有著線牽

it always seem like a happy thing when people you love throw you surprises. i love surprises as long as they dont turn out shocking me instead. kinda envy those people who have friends that would go an extra mile to create a beautiful memory for them. iim not complaining that i dont have wonderful friends, cos i do! (: just being greedy i guess, being human.

Just realize that things aren’t ever what you hoped they’d be. Not ever. For anybody.

But then there’s that one person. You let them in & you trust them & you think maybe, just maybe, everything you’ve ever gone through is worth it because you found someone on this messed up planet who knows you.

but then again, who knows?

•Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

•Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it’s an even trade.

•Nothing - This means “something”, and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine”.

•Go Ahead - At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

•Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows) - This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

•Go Ahead (Neutral Expression) - This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

•Loud Sigh - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

•Soft Sigh - Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

•That’s Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.

•Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

•Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you’re welcome.

•Thanks A Lot - This is much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing”.

pretty


ooh, i like. (:


i wanna believe this.

When someone sees the same people everyday, they wind up becoming a part of that person’s life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.
The Alchemist

She had come back into his life like a sudden flame; Noah stayed up all night contemplating the certain agony he knew would be his if he were to lose her twice.
The Notebook submitted by amandahush

I close my eyes, thinking that there is nothing like an embrace after absence, nothing like fitting my face into the curve of his shoulder and filling my lungs with the scent of him.
Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult (via kari-shma)

will that day ever come?

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, it doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving up or giving in. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it isn’t defeat. To let go of something is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting, it’s learning, it’s experiencing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that once made you cry, laugh, love and grow. It’s about all that you had and all you still have. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It’s growing up, realising that a heart can sometimes change and it can also be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free.

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re alive. ♥

one day, we'll make love like that every night. every day we'll wake up and you will teach me how to ride a bike and i will teach you how to sing. we will go into stores that are playing our favourite music and dance for five minutes and dance out again. we will eat good food and wash our dishes and talk and talk and talk. our lives will be filled with laughter, touching, bliss, joy. we will have notebooks jam packed with ideas. we will make beautiful things, funny things, smart things. i will hide my eyes in pride and embarrassment as you perform something outlandish for the crowd. we will make heaps of money. we will each become famous for our own respective work, as well as our work together. most of all, we will fall into bed every night, happy and exhausted and sure that this is the 100% right thing for us, i cant wait. i love you.

i like it when you stay. (:


we have our spot too, right at the top. (:


i prefer stars though.


you know, i know. hahas!




ooh, kinky~ :P


kisses on the forehead are the sweetest.



today is pretty photos day. (: